I promised you a post about the wonderful man in my life, remember? Snuggle in and I’ll tell you all about my Dean and how we became a we.

Almost 13 years ago I decided to embark on my upholstery journey. My teaching guides were books and an upholstery forum. I didn’t know where to get more information and videos on the subject were few and far between. I had heard of an upholstery shop in Boise was hiring and I needed a part-time gig while the kids were in school. I got myself all dressed up in my favorite vintage-inspired blue dress, did my hair in my signature 50’s look, made sure my eyeliner was on straight and off I went to apply for jobs. The upholstery shop was only one on my list of 5 for that day.

I made my rounds but saved the upholstery shop for last because I was nervous to try for it. I had never met the folks that ran it before and the only “prior experience” I had was with my sewing machine. It took until after lunch to work up the nerve but I did and in I went. The checkout counter was to the left of the door as I walked in and there were people in line so I waited until I could speak with someone without interruption. Not that I would ever show it, but I was so self-conscious of my outfit. I love my 50’s look and usually feel more confident in it but at that moment, coupled with the nerves I had, it was not doing the job. Waiting was torture. Finally, I turned and caught the eye of the guy behind the counter. I was immediately floored. This guy was seriously good looking and he felt like home to me. What a strange sensation. Having that feeling made me even more self-conscious. I probably looked like a fool in my outfit, and I had no experience for the job I was applying for. Yeesh. (I didn’t look like a fool but I sure felt that way!)

He, the guy at the counter, took one look at me, turned to a woman and said, “this one is all yours”, and walked away. What?! Talk about a confidence killer. To have someone just walk away from me before I could even say hello, not cool. But walk away he did and this woman came over with a nice smile and asked how she could help. I explained why I was there and that I did not have experience in upholstery but learned quickly and could work around caring for my son with special needs. She was very polite and I left feeling less like a rube than when I had arrived. Thank goodness for small favors. As for the guy that walked away, oh well. He was no one in my reach and I had children to pick up from school and dinner to make. Life went on.

I never heard back from these folks. I didn’t even bother calling to check, I was content to learn on my own. I got into another project and needed to get supplies that the local craft store did not stock. My only option was to go back to that upholstery shop and get those supplies. Being no stranger to difficult situations, I pulled up those bootstraps and got my butt in the car. I was in my jeans and a comfy shirt, making it easier to be and feel myself, so if that guy was there and wanted to be rude again I would at least be comfortable. I also intended to ask why I didn’t get a call back.

That guy was indeed there but this time he smiled and said hi. I was there as customer after all and he wasn’t going to be rude a second time. I told them what I needed and was handed off to what I then discovered was his wife. She, Donnelle, was great and easy to talk to so I asked why I didn’t get a call back. Donnelle said it was because of my son. (This is only part of the story I found out later.) They were more than willing to hire me but she was worried that they would get me all trained up and then I would leave to care for my boy. I completely understood and held no hard feelings. She did offer to help where she could and I took her up on it. Donnelle introduced me to her husband Dean (they guy at the counter), and he said he was willing to answer any questions I had about the trade as well. Very nice couple after all and we became friends for the next 10 years.

As you all know, I opened an upholstery shop for myself in Weiser and had a very successful 8 years there. During my time in Weiser I had many hospital visits with my son, so my trips into Boise for upholstery supplies became fewer but I still made it a point to stop in and say hi when I could. At this point Doug Karel had become my mentor in the business and introduced me to some suppliers he had been using over the last 30+ years. This made my trips to Dean & Donnelle’s shop not as relevant. I did, however, show up for special, business related, occasions, and even did a HIIT class with Donnelle once. We would spend a few Saturday afternoons going over upholstery techniques with Dean helping me figure out some auto upholstery stuff as well. Dean was building Donnelle a purple Bronco and she would send me over to the auto shop to see the progress. She was so excited for it and I thoroughly enjoyed being a part of it! I even got to celebrate with them when they bought their building. We had become good friends.

Donnelle passed almost 2 years ago now. She was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer that was supposed to take her in 6 months but she kicked its ass for 2 years. They came to visit me at the shop a couple of times before the end. It always made me a little nervous for them to see my work in progress because I didn’t know if my skill level would be good enough. Donnelle always loved my work though and complimented me on my artistry. That was some high praise! This woman was an expert at what she did and I admired the hell out of her. The last time I saw Dean, before my lifequake a year later, was at Donnelle’s Celebration of Life.

Dean called a couple of times when he needed to hear a friendly voice but I never really knew what to say. I missed Donnelle and didn’t know how to talk about her. Life kept moving for both of us and then I finally made the decision to walk away from a marriage that had ended years before. My first phone call, oddly, was to Dean. I remember dialing his number and not really realizing what I had done until he answered. He had always been a friend and was a very steady person in my world so it made sense to call him. Dean was good at solving problems and I needed a place to live and the encouragement that I could move my business into Boise. Dean also knows everybody and seems to always have a solution. He was my guy…at least for that.

As expected, Dean did know someone and put in a good word for me. I got the townhouse and was moving in by July 1st. As I was unloading my first run I was surprised by a visit from Dean. Again, I hadn’t seen this man, only spoken with him on the phone, for over almost 2 years. Yet, here he was and I was newly single. What was a girl to do? We said hi, hugged, and exchanged pleasantries. My daughter showed up with the second load of the morning and after a little unpacking it was time to go. As I was walking away Dean stopped and asked me why I didn’t tell him I was unhappy. We had spoken a few months prior and he asked if I was okay. I said yes, things were good and left it at that. My pain was not to be shared with anyone, not even him. Can you believe he was mad at me! My answer was simple. I was married and I had to do everything I knew to do before I walked away. It could not be about anyone but me and my happiness. He nodded, said he understood and walked away.

I spent the rest of the day packing, loading, unloading, repeat. All the while I had Dean on my mind. There was no way I could let him walk out of my life a second time without telling him how I had felt all these years. It was a risky move but I had already resigned myself to the fact that I was more than likely going to spend the rest of my life alone so what the hell. I called him up and told him to meet me at the townhouse for some help. When he got there I was shaking like a leaf but I took a deep breath and told him. He stood there dumbfounded for a minute and then told me the one thing I never expected. That he felt the same way. It was the reason he walked away from that day I came in and applied at his upholstery shop. He took one look at me and knew he was in trouble. Dean later told me that Donnelle saw the look on his face too and that that was the real reason they didn’t hire me. I agreed completely on that count too.

We started to spend some time together and I, without even thinking about it, starting telling stories about Donnelle. She actually allowed me back into their workroom and let me get my own supplies. That was super rare and a true sign of friendship with her. It was nice to share those memories with Dean. Little did I know that no had spoken her name to him in over a year. I got to show up for him as a friend before anything else. I am so glad for that. Our relationship would have stayed exactly as it was and we both would have been content (and none the wiser) had the tragedy of Donnelle’s passing not happened. It was never anything overt or scandalous, just two souls meeting long before they were supposed to.

I finally get to have the person I knew would make my heart full. The person I miss when I haven’t seen him for a whole day. The person I can share my silly, little insecurities with and know that I am not judged for them. The one person who will stand in the gap for me no matter what. I have never known a truer love. The wait, even the possibility of never having this, will always have been well worth it.